Monday Mama Muse: Would you belittle your child’s dreams?

I coached two wonderful women this weekend.  Smart, articulate, accomplished, funny, creative women.  Who happen also to be mothers. 

During the time we spent together, they belittled their dreams.  They made comments like “it makes no sense whatsoever.  Except that I really want to do it.”  Or they laughed dismissively as they articulated something that is incredibly meaningful to them.

When I recited some of the language they had used to undermine or belittle themselves, they were quick to recognize it.  They both agreed that it’s something that women do constantly. 

Yet we would NEVER do it to our children.   We would never treat their dreams and goals and passions with the disdain that we do our own.  We would champion them, encourage them, support them and constantly reassure them that they can do the things they set their mind to do.

So why do we treat our children’s mothers so shabbily?  If you are a mother, don’t you think that YOUR child’s mother deserves to be treated with the same unconditional love, respect and support that you instinctively give to your child.

It’s time to listen closely to our language.  To catch ourselves when we belittle ourselves and our dreams and goals.  To recognize our way out of the pattern of dismissive behavior rather than repeating it.

If you are the mother of a daughter, this is especially vital.  Your daughter will listen to the way you talk about yourself and will internalize it.  It will become a part of her inner dialogue.  It will shape the woman she grows up to be.

Let’s break this cycle.  Once and for all. 

Speak about yourself the way you speak about those you most love in the world.   You deserve it and so do they.

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